We talked …before I left.

I am just back from visiting my family. We talked while I was there, I have a young neice and nephew where I was. My nephew is a solo music Artist and like most artist’s I know; seeking direction. He asked a few questions to see is it just him struggling to thrive as an artist. I explained, first there is no one way of doing things. You don’t have to go by rules you didn’t make. But, if it takes some time, don’t be alarmed it happens I’m proof.

He said, How ironic because,  you were the first person to encourage me to pursue Art. I explained it never goes away, I tried to ignore it but that didn’t  work. I felt like the world was waiting for me to figure it out, you know. What great thing was I born to do and for the life of me I didn’t know what it was for a long time. The rules I was putting on it would change, as I grew older. Nursing in the mental health field wasnt it though, it worked for a long time until, it didn’t. But, in spite of being medically terminated from my job, it had already done all it could for me at the time. Forcing me to address once again what my purpose was. In retrospect it was meant to happen that way.

I  knew of it all my life. But, somehow life didn’t agree with it at first or I didn’t. I was not encouraged to do so either. I didnt trust my judgement, as a result. I never wanted that to happen to you. Fate can be ignored and happiness still exists. But for me it was more than that, I feel a responsibility, I don’t know why, i just do. I’m okay with it now.

I  like the idea, of doing “what I love” or better said, “what I  feel is meant” for me to be doing in life now. The feeling I have from finally knowing “what” to do now is tremendously empowering. Though, I feel it was a process for me that had changes. I think my purpose or how best to express it, had to get to the point of doing so.  Finding what and how to best offer to others, what serves my purpose in life was a task I  had to complete.

Yet, its not enough, only for me to like it. Nor does it mean, making a living from doing so is wrong or not important; love of doing something isn’t enough to live on. Not for me anyway. What would be the point in doing that, not making a living, I mean. No one likes, a “failure to thrive” baby, so to speak lol but, is a perfect example of what I mean to show you here. I don’t like them either, really who does. Because its a failure, on the part of others to show loving affection to the infant. So, as a result  they don’t thrive. Somehow, that is a sin in my eyes as much as, not figuring out what it is that suits you.

Doing what we love means, everyone or most others need to love it too. Or why, be doing it then. Clearly, one must believe they are pretty good at doing whatever it is, at first or that’s a problem. “Can you imagine, finding your purpose and not being very good at it.” He said, “Yes or even worse, not feeling good at it.” “It happens all the time,” I  said. But, what lets you know it’s the thing for you, is knowing inside, you are really good at it. That does not mean, not to practice it in order to get really good at it. You don’t start off knowing everything about it at once.

But, I have seen those tv shows with talent auditions; shaking my head watching and thinking “Now you know, you don’t sound like a famous singer.” I don’t happen to believe, in lying to myself and doubt some of those people have the feeling, I’m speaking of. There are standards, there should be, of course. But, if they have it, I  think they should pursue it. Regardless, of what anyone else says. But, you have a responsibility to get good. Lol!

Showing others, to see if they share or are moved by my loving passion for what I can do, is a challenge or chore to comply with just in doing so, itself. Not knowing is worse, though. And in order to be noticed; after showing others they need to feel the same way I do, also. That usually, means getting paid for it if we agree, I think. Which, helps with loving it.