This was inspired by a youtube video I watched after, a new follower had done so. I watched to see what he was about. I am glad I did.
How can faith in God be present without trust in God. Mankind can separate the two certainly, after feeling betrayed by someone perhaps, in a partnered relationship such as a friend or lover. I may be committed still, but I no longer have trust and my faith will follow if it goes uncorrected.
Without betrayal from God how can this be possible. I mean, I never feel betrayed by God. It’s not God abandoning mankind though, He allows our faith to be tested, I am fine with meeting strength I didn’t know, existed. No disappointment in the end of everything when, I feel it’s over. I know when that is innately.
I don’t need to see a reason, I wasn’t hired for a job I may never know why. I know there has to be space for what is intended and coming. I got everything, I have prayed for without putting expectations on the time limits to what I asked to be blessed with now, Godspeed. I believe and know. I will always be taken care of in every way whenever, it takes place. Whether, I’m in an ideal situation or not determines the wish for haste with the outcome. When one truly believes with content, all is still okay by taking a leap of faith. Over and over again. It will be.
At first it seemed unbelievable, sort of magical the first few times. I doubted it could continue to happen but it does depending on how one feels about it. I never really knew, how to convey this to anyone else. Other than speak of my own experiences. So I put my friends faith to test one day. I asked him, what do you really need that you feel only God’s intervention can help you with. He said he needed a laptop to work, but didn’t have much money. How ridiculous I thought, but whatever. I was expecting, I will be homeless soon …yatta yatta yatta.
Who am I to judge what someone else feels, so I stopped. I said okay think about wanting a laptop. Why you need it and “I promise you, it will come even if you never move off my couch.” With that said, I spoke to God myself for what I needed right then. “God I need you to demonstrate what I mean, please.” So, people can know about it. I need my friend to understand and believe in you because he needs to know you, so he can relax sometimes. Not always trying to do everything alone and he can tell others.
I was as surprised as anyone, when my neighbor knocked at the door asking, if I was interested in buying a laptop. I knew at that moment, God would never let me down. How can this be conveyed to one which does not believe themselves to be worthy of it. Without grace from God, I would never have felt worthy. Emotions affect our faith and trust. I get mad at myself sometimes still, for being human and needing to be reminded of this. I know better than to doubt yet, I do sometimes. Usually there is a lesson to be learned somewhere, in there I do not understand yet.
I don’t know why, other than caught up in the circumstances of the moment. I guess, that’s it because there isn’t another reason I can think of now. The problem mostly, when this happens is the faith of others around. I need others around me to have the faith and trust I demonstrate. This can be a problem when, I don’t want to teach or be strong at the time because it happens. I want to rely sometimes on the faith and trust of others. When I was sick I needed this to happen, it didn’t.