Ego

Big word for me. I found out well, it was pointed out to me, recently that this big, little word is running things in my life.

I would never have agreed to this observation on my own. I have not been myself lately. Wondering why I am feeling lost, surrounded by a bunch of asses.

Why my happiness comes and goes. The common thing here is I have wondered about everyone and everything but myself.

I was happy with me. I had therapy a relationship with myself and still, quite often go spend time with only me.

I was escaping from others, I didn’t realize it. The one thing I can do about others is change me. No one else can make me happy. I have that within, always.

I can’t expect others to want to do or be anything other than what they are now. I am still trying to fix ny mother with everyone else around.

If I could figure out how to accomplish a meaningful relationship with someone else I could do that again with her I thought. Not cognitively but, emotionally I did.

I saw my mother recently and decided, after my visit which wbdes abruptly, I can not be around her expecting to get the meaning I am hoping for from her.

I didn’t feel I could ever feel truly happy by admitting this ro myself. Why I denied it so long, wasted so much time hoping.

I can be happy without her changing. I am always at peace because, I am in touch with this place within myself.

Hard to remember sometimes. I guess, I will focus more on myself and less on others and being right.