I can’t really say, finally. I am at one of those crossings in my life where everything I need just came to me. To Re establish my peace outside.
I always have it inside, calling on it as of late, many times a day. So I didn’t feel sad daily for making a big mistake. Though, I had no other option at the time. I thought.
I have this issue with keeping people around I really don’t like. I want to make them likeable. I’m done with that. They often are people which, I am related or known forever.
The feeling I have now – picture this, it is like when going to bed tired because, you haven’t been able to sleep lately and you feel tired everyday from broken sleep.
You went to sleep, not waking up this time until your body woke itself. Wishing you were still asleep, watching the sun come up didn’t happen, it was perfect for you and sleep.
In fact it is a holiday and sleeping in, is an option you can take. It feels really good the first time you wake up because you can go back to sleep if you want. Then, you realize you did it on your own. Not waking startled from noise coming from the ass you live with that is loud and rude everyday.
The one you plan to never speak with again. Who has his head shoved so far up his own ass wondering daily, how he breaths. Now you won’t have to do that anymore. Not waste a second on someone who doesn’t even care enough about themselves to not be rude to people. Not even realizing how inconsiderate he is to others.
You wake up smiling, knowing this form of bullshit is about to come to an end. No longer having to question why, trying to be a good person seems so difficult at times, while trying to set a better example. For those who could care less about any example.
Getting me into situations I care not to be in, finding it difficult to turn my cheek. But, because I feel it’s the right thing to do, I turn my cheek with a balled up fist and go meditate. Wondering wtf is wrong with me.
Then, I finally listen to my messages in my voicemail and realize what I want has been waiting for me for over a week. I had no idea and paid this rude one another month for rent. While I could of been gone.
The place I wanted to live all along that wasn’t ready yet, called back saying I could have it. I have to wonder how, I missed it.
I am so happy I can live in peace again. On my own the way it should be. The abundance of the universe has provided what I needed when, I needed it once again.